... and the bridge is love ...

Thorton Wilder's novel The Bridge of San Lui Rey ends with these words:
"There is a land of the living and a land of the dead, and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning."

Two weeks ago my father died - aged 90 he died a quick and easy death. He could live at home, looked after by wonderful people, until the end. It is sad - but it is good the way it is.

I spent all last week in  my parents' house, which  I will have to empty and give back to the landlord by the summer. It is not the house where I grew up up in, but my family has lived there for more than 30 years and it is full of memories. And the fact that both of my parents are now dead,  means that a part of my life has come to an end: I am no longer a daughter. In a way, it marks the final end of childhood.

However - if I look at things properly, I see that I ceased to be the child  years ago. Gradually, I had to take over tasks for my parents, had to look after them - and even make decisions for them. I have already grown up.

And the house, which during the first weekend after my father's death was so filled with his "spirit" that I thought I could feel his presence, is becoming a stranger. It is a place where I sleep and work when I am there. Of course, in the end all the things that made up my parents' lives, will be thrown away.

But they are only THINGS. I have the memories in me, everything they taught me, all the laughter we shared, all the worries and the care they gave me. I carry their love in me and my love for them.

I am ready to let go - and it does not leave me sad or desperate.

"... and the bridge is love, the only survival, the only meaning."

Happy Easter to those, who celebrate it. The Christian holiday that celebrates the victory of life over death. The victory of (God's) love over death.

(photo: Guillermo Macias, Mexico)

Where is the sound of silence ?

On Friday we had a memorial church service for a deceased colleague. There was a moment of complete silence - no cough, no rustling of clothes, no whispering, nothing. It made me think  about all the noise that tortures my ears all day.

My job  forces me to work with people. A lot of people. A lot of people who talk to me at the same time. There is constant noise -  in the office, in the hall, in the room for the the breaks. Five conversations at the same time, everybody shouting loudly trying to make themselves heard.

There is music... well "music" ... everywhere. In the supermarket, for example. The nice relaxing music that is supposed to make me buy just makes me angry . I want to escape as fast as possible and forget half of the things on my list. Children crying, mothers shouting, men talking  at the top of their voices.

And all the machines: cars, buses, trams, planes, helicopters,  the washing machine, the dryer, the computer. People talking on their mobile phones. When I come home, I turn on the TV, the radio or a CD. Most of the things I hear there are not important, but they pollute my brain and keep me from thinking.

Well - there is a point to start. I may not be able to get away from the noise at work or in the city. But I can keep my house quiet. Or go to a quiet place, like a church. And when then, after a while, the organ lets some Bach music float through the air... then I know, that silence makes us hear the  important things. Like the voices of our hearts.

Church in the small town of Tequila, México

Happy Chinese New Year

xin nian kuai le ..... gung hay fat choy

I wish everybody who celebrates a happy new Year of the Dragon  - ah, you don't know what this is all about?

Well - the traditional Chinese calendar  is a lunar calendar, so the celebrations of the new year take place at some time between the end of January and the beginning of February. The Chinese call it the "Spring Festival" and it is the celebration of nature coming back to life. Like all big festivals you celebrate with your family, which means that each year around this time millions of Chinese are on the road (or train or plane..) to visit their families. And of course, there are  fireworks. After all, the Chinese invented fireworks ! What most Western kids like most about Chinese New Year are the red envelopes with money children and unmarried relatives get . More details about the celebrations here.


And where does the dragon come from ? The Chinese calendar  has a 12 year cycle and each year is named after an animal. Last year was the Year of the Rabbit, the new year is going to be the Year of the Dragon. People born in the year of a certain animal are said to have certain characteristics... well, if you want to know more, you can e.g. find more information here .

By the way, I was born in the Year of the Rooster...

 A colouring page with a dragon can be found on Jackie Chan's website in the "Kids Corner." 

Good bye, Princess !

I lost a friend - well, you might say, it was "only a cat", but she was more than just "a cat". She was a member of our family and  a good companion for more than 12 years. And on Friday I had to go to the vet and have her put down.

I got her when she was 11 weeks old and we had a close relationship. She had an incredible air of arrogance about her and seemed to be well aware of the fact that in ancient Egypt she might have been worshipped as a goddess. She was a real princess - but also a real cat who could live a real cat's life roaming the gardens of the neighbourhood, hunting and supplying the household with food.

I miss having to fight for access to my bed, my desk and my computer keyboard.  I miss nearly stepping on her when I walk into the kitchen.  I miss spending winter evenings opening and closing the balcony door, because a cat is always on the wrong side of a door. She was seldom satisfied with the service she got from me - and she never failed to tell me off. And I miss it.

And she was there when I needed someone to cuddle because I was sad. She listened patiently to everything I told her - and living together with her taught me that love and freedom can go together.

Bye bye, my dear friend - I am listening to our favourite music and thinking of you. And I am grateful that you shared my life.

Whose bed ?

Memories

A long time has passed since my last post, but I was extremely busy at work and privately. But then I could take a break - a holiday in Carinthia/ Austria. The interesting thing about this holiday place is the fact that it has been  part of nearly my whole life.

It is a farm whose owners started to rent out rooms to holiday makes in the 1960s and when I was nine years old, my family and I went there for the first time. It was an adventure: strange smells, strange language, no wash basin in our rooms, the only tap was in the kitchen. They have come a long way from there, today there are apartments with cable TV.

I came here as a child and teenager with my parents, alone as a student, with my boy-friend and then with husband and child. I met a lot of other people who had been here as a child and came back with their own children. The friendship to the farmer's family grew - the older generation died and we "youngsters " are now in our 50s.

I had not been at this place for 10 years, but when I entered the kitchen, it was like coming home. And I spent a week remembering things my late mother had done or said - and thinking of the happy times of my marriage and the time when my son was little. It was like re-living my life, but at the end of the week I had arrived in the present and could look ahead to new adventures.

However, like a real home, the farm in Carinthia will remain with me wherever I go.

Some things never change: a new-born calf

Internet Connections

Today I realized again how useful Internet is and how much it has changed our lives. On TV I saw a report about the revolution in Egypt and the role that mobile phones, Facebook and Twitter played in it. Information can be passed on at the wink of an eye and people cannot be kept from getting it, no matter how hard a government may try to prevent this.

After that I had my very own personal "Internet " moments.I know a lot of students all  around the world  - and I am a passionate teacher. So when my friend asked me to have a look at her essay and correct the language, I agreed to do so. She sent me her essay by email, I sent it back the same way an hour later. She is in  California at the moment, I am in Germany - in real life we would not even have met. Something similar happened a bit later with a student friend in China who is  studying  German. I explained  German grammar to him via Instant Messenger and then remembered some  helpful documents, so I put them into an email  and he got them a few seconds after I had hit the "send" button.

 Do you remember how difficult it was in the old days to get authentic material in a foreign language? Nowadays you can access online TV stations, radio or newspapers; there are websites with tons of material to practise and to study . And you can make friends around the world with whom you can practise your language skills.

Maybe these new media are a chance for understanding and peace, too. They have made the world a smaller place - hopefully no "Klingon" attack from outer space is needed (yes, I admit, I watched Star Trek last night)  to make us humans work together instead of against each other. And we need to work together to save our little planet ...

Parque Nacional in Uruapan/Mexico

All's right with the world ??!!

There is a war in Libya. The Japanese are still fighting with the aftermath of the earthquake and tsunami and it will take the country years to repair all the damage.I know people who are somehow affected by it all - or by some other form of hardship.

And what does the sun do today? It shines. The sky is blue, the birds are singing, it is a lovely and warm spring day. The smell of flowers and trees is incredible. The cold and dark winter is over. I could sit in the sun and relax. But how can I, when I think of all the sad things happening ?

I can allow myself to do that. Maybe even more, I must do it. We all need it - the precious moments when there is peace around us. We need them to gather new energy to face the hard times. We must take them and cherish them. I think the secret of life lies in living these moments in the full knowledge of the cruel other side of  life. The secret lies in hoping they will come back, when we are in the middle of a disaster.

Hope is a powerful source of energy. Believing can give you hope - religious people know what I am talking about.

I wish those who have a peaceful day that you can enjoy the precious moment thankfully. To those, who are troubled: I wish you hope.

Photo: Sam C. Chan